Not a member?     Existing members login below:

Amock Comedy Compendium

A GUIDE TO ALIEN WOMEN
Admittedly, as of this date, we have only
difficult. Their tusks too are not really
reached the moon, but the time will inevitably
compatible with human anatomy.
come when man will venture further into space
In a human relationship you would now be
and encounter alien species. If these alien
looking forward to that first kiss with your
species are similar to ourselves in being
beloved, but many alien species regard
divided into male and female there will
mouth to mouth contact as not only
no doubt arise the situation where a
disgusting but as a
human male feels attracted to an
declaration of
alien female. But with no experience
war. You must,
of alien women our space-faring
therefore,
Lothario will be at a severe
proceed with
disadvantage in attempting
caution. The kiss
seduction unless, that is, he reads
after all is only a
this instructional article and
form of greeting,
follows the advice herein.
much like the
The first thing you must
Faroodi elbow
ensure is to make your
rubbing ritual. They,
potential mate feel
of course, have
comfortable. You can begin
greater scope to enjoy
by changing your name to
this, having seven
Zob as this is a common
elbows. On each torso.
name among many alien
Human mating rituals
species and comparable to
would then proceed with a
our Terran Joe.
'date'. This could be a visit
Then, as Zob, you must
to a bar, a restaurant, the
understand that we humans have
cinema, theatre or art
a very poor sense of smell by comparison with
gallery. Avoid these like the
our alien cousins but as you wish to make your
plague if attracted to a Wermyn lady. Their
paramour feel comfortable you must be
idea of a good night out is pro-celebrity owl
prepared to give her a good sniff and allow her
strangling, though their owls average ten feet
to reciprocate. Allow a few weeks for this to
in height.
appreciate the full effect and of course no
Talsan females, on the other hand, like
bathing is permitted while you enjoy each
nothing better than lying in a hot bath. Not
other's pheromones. The Vandusians, with
up to the neck, of course, but over the head.
their smell of turtle soup, are quite acceptable,
It helps that they are aquatic. This should
though the cheesy smelling Durit can be
not deter you, as finding a love gift for such a
 
 
Remove