morning. Yup, it was me, with my eyes somewhat unfocused and my right ear still lower
than my left. I don’t know why some people are born with perfectly symmetrical faces
while others have obvious defects. My biggest flaw was that I had mismatched ears, the
right much lower than the left. To make matters worse, the earlobe was bigger on the
right ear, and both stood out as if they were windbreaks on a Kansas wheatfield. I
remembered the kids calling me Jughead in school, and I suspected even then that there
would be no Betty or Veronica in my future.
I felt that as long as I was here, I might as well finish what I came for, so I slowly and
gingerly looked at the rest of the room, recovering my equilibrium as I did so. I have
been hit harder, so this blow was not meant to kill or incapacitate, just get me out of the
picture for a bit. I remember Gretchen White clubbing me with her purse on our first date,
breaking my nose and sending me to the hospital, where my stepfather of the moment
came to get me with a bemused look on his face. I don’t know if he was bemused because
I had actually had a date, or because I had dared to do something that would make a girl
hit me like that. Actually, all I had done was suggest that Patty Boyle was a pretty good
looking girl, and that had been enough to get me clobbered. Apparently Gretchen felt a
bit sorry for me, as a few days later, she apologized and suggested that we give it one
more try. Two hamburgers, a couple of sodas and some fries later, she dumped me
immediately, and without any appearance of conscious thought or remorse when local
stud Mike Worthy came into the burger joint, and asked if she would like to take a spin in
his new Thunderbird convertible. She readily agreed, and after explaining to me how
things, “Just sorta happen, y’know?”; she flipped her ponytail and popped out of my life
forever. I didn’t mind too much, as I had barely enough money for that date, and no
future funding in line for another hot time. What got to me was the fact that she got into
the car, and it already had 3 other girls in it. Had she no pride? After realizing whom she
had shared her most recent repast with, I realized that she might not! Anyway, as it
appeared that I was going to live a bit longer, I finished checking out the bathroom,
finding nothing at all. Working my way back through the apartment, I saw nothing out of
place, but as I was still just a bit woozy, I sat on the plastic chair by the living room
window, trying to figure it all out. I felt the back of my head, and found the tender lump
recently deposited there, and wondered how noticeable it would be. Probably not too bad,
as people rarely got beyond my ears before giving up at looking at my face.
As I sat at the chair, trying to figure where I would go next, I noticed a very slight
movement. It was a large black ant working its way up the windowsill. A sign of life
being rare around here, I watched idly as it crept around, exploring for a way out, no
doubt.
It wasn’t long before the ant went through a place in the window frame where the wood
had split and made his escape into the rarified air of 2nd floor Boulevard Estates. I
peeked out the window to see how he was progressing, and noticed that I was directly
above a dumpster in the courtyard between building A and building B. I had not ventured
to this spot yet, not having discovered a way between the two buildings from the outside.
I had noticed a locked wooden gate that probably remained that way, except for trash
days.
The gate and lock had been rusty and unused looking when I had first glanced at them,
and I figured it had been awhile since that dumpster had been in service. A possibility
