he had learned to dread the violence of his own feeling. That word of Mr.
Irwine's--that he must remember what he had felt after giving the last blow to
Arthur in the Grove--had remained with him.
These thoughts about Arthur, like all thoughts that are charged with strong
feeling, were continually recurring, and they always called up the image of the
Grove--of that spot under the overarching boughs where he had caught sight of
the two bending figures, and had been possessed by sudden rage.
"I'll go and see it again to-night for the last time," he said; "it'll do me good; it'll
make me feel over again what I felt when I'd knocked him down. I felt what poor
empty work it was, as soon as I'd done it, before I began to think he might be
dead."
In this way it happened that Arthur and Adam were walking towards the same
spot at the same time.
Adam had on his working-dress again, now, for he had thrown off the other with a
sense of relief as soon as he came home; and if he had had the basket of tools
over his shoulder, he might have been taken, with his pale wasted face, for the
spectre of the Adam Bede who entered the Grove on that August evening eight
months ago. But he had no basket of tools, and he was not walking with the old
erectness, looking keenly round him; his hands were thrust in his side pockets,
and his eyes rested chiefly on the ground. He had not long entered the Grove,
and now he paused before a beech. He knew that tree well; it was the boundary
mark of his youth--the sign, to him, of the time when some of his earliest,
strongest feelings had left him. He felt sure they would never return. And yet, at
this moment, there was a stirring of affection at the remembrance of that Arthur
Donnithorne whom he had believed in before he had come up to this beech eight
months ago. It was affection for the dead: THAT Arthur existed no longer.
He was disturbed by the sound of approaching footsteps, but the beech stood at
a turning in the road, and he could not see who was coming until the tall slim
figure in deep mourning suddenly stood before him at only two yards' distance.
They both started, and looked at each other in silence. Often, in the last fortnight,
Adam had imagined himself as close to Arthur as this, assailing him with words
that should be as harrowing as the voice of remorse, forcing upon him a just
share in the misery he had caused; and often, too, he had told himself that such
a meeting had better not be. But in imagining the meeting he had always seen
Arthur, as he had met him on that evening in the Grove, florid, careless, light of
speech; and the figure before him touched him with the signs of suffering. Adam
knew what suffering was--he could not lay a cruel finger on a bruised man. He
felt no impulse that he needed to resist. Silence was more just than reproach.
Arthur was the first to speak.
