By coincidence, a BBC1 programme Life on Mars about a policeman
who, after a car accident, awoke back in 1973 provided an eerie
backdrop to the unreality of the events unfolding before me. You
should note however that my Consultant did not wear flares and
instead [rather worryingly] resembled Uncle Albert from Only Fools and
Horses.
The required procedure – a Craniotomy - will also include the taking of
a sample for biopsy to confirm the classification of the tumour. What is
a Craniotomy? Try thinking of how you eat a boiled egg if it helps.
Apparently, there is an official scale used in these matters running from
“Fluffy Rabbit” to “Furious Rottweiler”. Actually, this is not true, the use of
adjectives was recently banned in the NHS following new government
guidelines – they are now considered as being too discriminatory. In
their place, a rather more prosaic Grade I – IV scale exists.
Erin Dawes [pictured middle] discusses the impending operation with the Consultant and Hospital Registrar
