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A Double Dose of Driving Dogs

“Bungee jumping off the bookcase,” said Boo faintly. “I must have measured the
elastic wrong.”
“Well, anybody could have worked that out!” came a hiss from underneath the
Horace bent down and peered beneath it. All he could see was a striped shadow
with glittering golden eyes.
“Kimi? How did you get in?”
“There’s a hole in your floorboards,” said the snake as she glided out like a long,
lithe ribbon. “Did you use the proper formula for that elastic, Boo?”
Mg(l +d)= ½ kd squared.”
Boo scratched his head. “I thought formula was baby milk.”
“You’re lucky you didn’t break your neck!” tutted Kimi. “That elastic’s far too
“How do you know all this?” asked Horace, impressed.
The snake rolled her eyes. “It’s basic engineering.”
“Did you come over just to give us a maths lesson?” demanded Tickety.
“No. It’s Tuesssday!” Kimi hissed.
“Oh! Your feeding day,” said Horace, remembering that Kimi only ate one meal a
“But my stupid humans have gone out without feeding me!” complained the
snake. “I was hoping there might be some dead mice in your fridge.”
“We don’t keep mice in our fridge,” said Horace.
“Anything, then,” snapped Kimi. “Rats! Chicken! Steak! I’m hungry.
“Sorry. They’ve locked the kitchen.”
“I could find a way in. I can find a way in anywhere. I need food! Beef! Rabbit!
“Don’t look at us,” said Boo.
But Kimi was staring at Tickety and Boo with avid eyes. “I’m sssstarving. I can’t
help it.”
“Yes, you can!” urged Tickety. “Don’t think about food. Think of something else.
Think of... snowdrops.”