didn't work, for trying to cut down just makes it harder than before. It
would have been easier just to go cold turkey, but I stuck it out. I
bought more NicoBloc when I ran out, and ultimately I bought six
NicoBloc and it had not worked. There was one bonus, though. Each
time I buy the NicoBloc, there's a paper for free urine testing device to
check how much nicotine levels you have. So I tested two and saw I
was still full of nicotine. I determined to save the rest of the tests for
later when I can be sure I've quit for good. But when? That is the
question that plays itself on my mind for a long time.
Until I recall my father's adventure with quitting smoke with a
nicotine patch that was so strong he was dozing, even though the patch
on his arm was hurting his arm like hell. I wondered, though, about an
idea, of using that patch and seeing what it really feels like, and then
modifying the patch to reduced the pain and perhaps, to a lower levels
of nicotine, and that way, replace smoking with that half-patch. So I
tested that idea, and it worked like a charm.
The next thing I needed was to focus on something unrelated to
smoking in my life. I hardly have much memories of non-smoking
scenes, all I have is bits and pieces, but there's a few scenes in my
childhood that was perfect, and I brought that memory or series of
memories back to the present day.
I prepared my tools, and I got ready. It had to be at the right time, for
when no one will be needing me, demanding my time, for this or that. I
needed to be alone, to battle out the urge, the fever, the struggle to hold
to my dream of being free of the smoking man.
