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A Bit O' Love

finger to check expostulation] No, no--its no good. You know the value of scandal
to your business far too well.
GODLEIGH. Wi' all respect, m'm, I knows the vally of it to yourn, tu.
MRS. BRADMERE. What do you mean by that?
GODLEIGH. If there weren't no Rector's lady there widden' be no notice taken o'
scandal; an' if there weren't no notice taken, twidden be scandal, to my thinkin'.
MRS. BRADMERE. [Winking out a grim little smile] Very well! You've given me
your views. Now for mine. There's a piece of scandal going about that's got to be
stopped, Godleigh. You turn the tap of it off here, or we'll turn your tap off. You
know me. See?
GODLEIGH. I shouldn' never presume, m'm, to know a lady.
MRS. BRADMERE. The Rector's quite determined, so is Sir Herbert. Ordinary
scandal's bad enough, but this touches the Church. While Mr. Strangway
remains curate here, there must be no talk about him and his affairs.
GODLEIGH. [Cocking his eye] I was just thinkin' how to du it, m'm. 'Twid be a
brave notion to putt the men in chokey, and slit the women's tongues-like, same
as they du in outlandish places, as I'm told.
MRS. BRADMERE. Don't talk nonsense, Godleigh; and mind what I say,
because I mean it.
GODLEIGH. Make yure mind aisy, m'm there'll be no scandal-monkeyin' here wi'
my permission.
[MRS. BRADMERE gives him a keen stare, but seeing him perfectly grave,
nods her head with approval.]
MRS. BRADMERE. Good! You know what's being said, of course?
GODLEIGH. [With respectful gravity] Yu'll pardon me, m'm, but ef an' in case yu
was goin' to tell me, there's a rule in this 'ouse: "No scandal 'ere!"
MRS. BRADMERE. [Twinkling grimly] You're too smart by half, my man.
GODLEIGH. Aw fegs, no, m'm--child in yure 'ands.
MRS. BRADMERE. I wouldn't trust you a yard. Once more, Godleigh! This is a
Christian village, and we mean it to remain so. You look out for yourself.
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