There are many causes as to why fear originates. Understanding these reasons gives us an insight into eradicating fear forever.
First cause : ThoughtsFear originates primarily from our thoughts. Our thoughts create happiness and unhappiness in our life. We can understand this through an example:
A man was lying beneath the wish fulfilling tree in paradise. Hindu mythology calls the tree as “Kalpvriksha”. He wished that he could have something to eat and immediately food appeared from thin air. Next he thought he should have something to drink and a drink appeared for him. Next he wished he could have lots of wealth and he was bestowed with that. The next thought frightened him. He thought that thieves would kill him and would take away all his belongings. And the next moment he was dead.
Positive thoughts lead to positive events and negative thoughts invite negative events. Thus the first important reason for fear is our own thoughts. Our mind is our wish fulfilling tree.
Second cause : ParentsThe second cause for fear to originate is the way some parents bring up their children. Parents sometimes take the support of some imaginary fears to make children do certain things such as eating a meal or going to bed. For example, a mother may tell her child, “Eat your meal quickly, otherwise ghosts will seize you and take you away.” Parents don’t realize that such seemingly innocent techniques do enormous damage to the child’s development. Fears so created may trouble him throughout his life. Such children when they grow up suffer from various ailments and personality disorders owing to fears. At minimum, they suffer from a tremendous lack of selfconfidence.
Third cause : Lack of faith in GodLack of faith in God is also an important cause of fear. Call it the lack of faith on the universe or call it lack of knowledge of universal principles. People who do not know the principles and rules that govern the events of this world tend to be fearful of the dangerous possibilities that surround their lives. Those who know the seven principles and seven rules of nature live beyond all fears.
Fourth cause : Collective beliefsRecently there was a rumor in one of the bordering areas of the capital that a monkey-faced man attacks people at night. It featured on TV and that further fueled the rumor. It created quite a fear in the surrounding areas and people stopped moving alone at night. Eventually it turned out to be a few unconnected mugging instances in the area, which had led to the rumor. We tend to accept collective beliefs and fears as fact without questioning.
Many people in India still believe that – one should not keep the broom upside down... one should not sweep the house after dark... breaking of mirror is a bad omen...and so on. Some of these practices were created before the advent of electricity in our lives. Many people still observe these practices fastidiously – living a life full of ignorance, superstitions and consequent fear.
Fifth cause : Past tragic eventsSome events or accidents in a person’s life create fear. Some people give undue importance to a childhood event and the memory of that event becomes the basis for the related fear in their life.
For example:
Seeing someone falling in water, one starts fearing water.
After a childhood brush with dogs or seeing someone bitten by a dog, the fear of dogs remains for life. Fear of some animals like snakes, lizards, earthworms or other crawling animals is caused after seeing or hearing about them.
Fear of lizards or cockroaches because one has seen one’s mother fear the same.Fear owing to ghost stories told by grandparents.
Fears created by such events stay with us all our lives. Sixth cause : Ordinary events of daily life
Sometimes even ordinary events of our daily routine life create fear. For example, if a child drops and breaks a glass article and the parents scold or beat the child, this could create fear in the child for such events.
A child sees his father getting upset over someone for not lifting the phone promptly. He tends to behave in the same way when he grows up. When we see people getting tensed, worried, fearful over certain things, unless we are alert, we assume this to be normal behavior and start behaving accordingly.
Food for Thought :
Thoughts are Food
What we eat is food for the body. What we see is food for eyes. Similarly thoughts are food for the mind. Whatever you are today, it is only owing to your thoughts. Whatever you think, that is the food your mind will get to chew on. Your mind will grow according to the food it gets. Man does not eat what he ought to and ends up eating what he ought not to. Man does not think what he ought to and ends up thinking what he ought not to.
First step : Face the fear and there is no fear
Do the thing you fear and the fear will disappear. If you fear going to the kitchen at night, make it a point to go there at night. The fear of going to the kitchen in the dark will disappear. Common sense says that if there is really someone in the kitchen, he can as well come to the bedroom.
If you fear your boss, find some pretext to go and speak to your boss. Gradually you will become comfortable with him.
If you fear going to stage, create situations where you have to compulsorily speak on a stage or in a group.
It takes determined efforts and courage to overcome your fears using this technique. There was a student of Tej Gyan Foundation who feared snakes. When he understood the importance of facing his fear, he took the first step of facing that fear and went to a snake park. He persuaded the officials there to allow him to have his pictures taken while holding snakes. This helped him get over his fear of snakes and increase his selfconfidence.
Second step : Desensitize yourself towards the fearThe soles of our feet become tough and less sensitive compared to the rest of the skin, because of repeated contact with the ground. The same principle can be applied to overcome fears.
Do the thing you fear so often that you become insensitive to the associated fear. If you fear going to the kitchen at night, make it a point to go to the kitchen every night till you completely overcome your fear of going into dark rooms. If you fear your boss, make it a point to at least say Good Morning or Good Evening to him every day.
If you fear going on stage, then grab every opportunity to go to the stage. With each stage appearance, your fear of stage will diminish and your self-confidence will increase. Thousands of students of Tej Gyan Foundation have used this technique successfully to overcome their stage fright. Some of them eventually start enjoying the stage so much that it becomes a problem to get them off the stage.
Whatever you fear, be it open space, water, stage, darkness or your boss – face the fear repeatedly until the associated fear becomes a thing of the past.
Third step : Laugh at your fearsIf you are afraid of a cockroach, think that :
“I am afraid of such a small creature. Ha! Ha! That it will grab me. Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Laughing at your fear tends to diffuse the associated feeling of fear and makes you feel comfortable with the object of your fear. Two friends, all dressed up, were going for an interview. A bird spilled its droppings on one of them. The other friend quipped, “Oh no! What will you do now?” The first friend removed the stuff with a piece of paper, “It is nothing. Thank God, cows don’t fly!” They both had a hearty laugh and walked on.
Anyone can laugh in comfortable conditions. It takes courage and wisdom to laugh in adverse conditions. We all laugh at other people’s fears and mistakes. What is more important is to laugh at our own fears and mistakes.
The above three steps are equal to declaring war against fear. The next three steps are proclamation of victory.Question in a management class Q : Walking in a jungle, suddenly you come face to face with a tiger. What will you do?
A : I don’t think I have anything to do in this scene. The tiger will do what needs to be done.
Friends of animals'A' had gone to see a friend who had just acquired a dog. The gate had a plate that read, “Beware of Dog.”
'A' shouted from the gate, “Does your dog bite?"The friend shouted back, “Come on in. We are also waiting to find out. You are the first visitor.”